Fat Jokes

Fat Jokes

Fat Jokes

Fat Jokes

Fat Jokes

Yo momma's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it's still printing!

Kelly is so fat, he jumped on a scale once and plowed through to CHINA!!

Kelly is so fat, he has more chins than a Chinese phone book!

Kelly is so fat, he has more rolls than a bakery!

Kelly is so fat, when he goes camping, bears hide their food!

Kelly is so fat, he shows up on radar.

Kelly is so fat, he got arrested at the airport for TEN POUNDS OF CRACK!!

The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!

Kelly is so fat, he's on both sides of the family!

Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

One guy was so fat, he had his own area code.

Yo momma's so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, "One person at a time!"

Yo momma's so fat, her stomach gets to a destination fifteen minutes before the rest of her does!

Yo momma's so fat, she wore a yellow raincoat once and people started to yell, "TAXI!"

You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.

Kelly is so fat, when he was born, he gave the hospital stretch marks!

Kelly is so fat, I got lost running around him!

Kelly is so fat, when he walked in front of our wide-screen television, I missed the entire nightly news!

Kelly is so fat, he has to iron his pants in the street!

Kelly is so fat, he sat on Wal-mart and lowered the prices!

Kelly is so big, he plays hopscotch like, "Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania..."

Kelly is so fat, when he stepped on a scale, it came up with my phone number!!

I know a lady named Paulette that is so fat she has to wake up in sections.

Kelly is so fat, he can't even jump to a conclusion!

And then there is Judy.  She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.

Kelly is so fat, when he went to McDonalds, they offered him a group discount!

Seriously though, Judy isn’t fat, she insists she’s just 4 feet too short.

But Paulette takes the cake.  Once she jumped into the gulf here in Panama City and the tide came in at Myrtle Beach.

Your mama's so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy poured out!

Kelly is so fat, he broke the family tree!

Kelly is so fat, they use his belt to measure the Earth's equator.

The guy is so fat, if someone would melt him down, they'd have enough oil to power Detroit for a month!

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat pig!"

Yo momma's is so fat, if she wore a GoodYear hat, she'd look like a blimp.

You are so fat you were baptized in Sea World.

Yo momma's is so fat, when she goes swimming in the ocean, whales start singing, "We Are Family!"

You are so fat, you had your baby pictures taken by satellite.

Kelly is so fat, people jog around him for exercise.

Jim is so fat when they step on the scale it says, "No live stock please."

Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager

Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo

Yo momma's so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or Meatloaf!"

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get to her GOOD side.

Kelly is so fat, he has to put his belt on with a boomerang! 

The rather broad lady showed up at the theatre just before the
performance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where's
the other party?" asked the usher.
"Well," said the lady, with a blush, "you see one seat
is a little small for me and rather uncomfortable so I bought
two. But they're both really for me."
"Okay with me, lady," the usher replied, scratching
his head. "There's just one problem. Your seats are numbers
fifty-one and sixty-three."

Also, there was the time Paulette fell over in the sand and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.  She was eventually awakened by a lifeguard who asked her to move back because the tide was waiting to come in.

THE  BEST  WEBCAM  COMPANY  OUT  THERE!!

Have questions about that webcam thing?

E-Mail me at: Carl@CarlMerritt.com